Eat Your Feelings_Recipes for Self-Loathing by Heather Whaley

Author:Heather Whaley [Whaley, Heather]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: humour
ISBN: 9781594630590
Goodreads: 6640246
Publisher: Hudson Street Press
Published: 2009-09-17T00:00:00+00:00

LEFT AT THE ALTAR PETITS-FOURS LOG

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Linger at the altar no longer than 10 minutes. Be sure when leaving to storm straight down the aisle, not looking at anyone. You have two roles to consider: the poor, heartbroken bride or the angry, vengeful bride. I would opt for heartbroken, as your guests may not expect their gifts to be returned if they feel sorry for you.

Do not take off dress, no matter how uncomfortable you become, as wearing a wedding dress entitles you to order people around. In back of the church or reception hall, demand bridesmaids bring you all the lovely little cakes you and your bastard fiancé spent eighteen months picking out. Send maid of honor to fetch three bottles of champagne.

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